happiness

there were two brothers, identical twins, and one of them was very successful in his work career but was very dissatisfied with life as he felt that he was fat and balding and unattractive. he would feel dissatisfied all the time and was not happy with his life. on the other hand his twin who looked exactly like him and did not have a particularily great career, seemed to enjoy himself all the time and was always surrounded by friends and even had a girlfriend.

the unhappy fellow would always wonder what makes my brother so happy and one day in his frustration he told him in order to make him feel bad that when they were in school, the hot girl his brother had a crush on was making fun of him behind his back for being fat and ugly.
to this his brother replied that even he heard that girl but it did not bother him. the jealous guy was surprised and asked him as to how could he not feel sad when the girl he liked said such nasty things about him.
his brother said what he felt for the girl was his feeling and his problem and the fact that she despised him was hers. what he feels about her or someone or something else is immaterial of the other person"s response. that is something he cant control and since he cant control that he cant be worried of it.he shouldnt.or else he will always be sad and dissatisfied.

the above scene is from the movie ADAPTATION which really got me thinking.we place our own happiness in other people's hand.this we do with the expectation that they will take care of it, with the belief that its their responsibility to keep us happy and satisfied without having to do anything ourselves.and when these expectations are not met with we think that we have been cheated and abused.

i wonder if happiness is a thing that could be brought to us by anyone or anything else.as i understand it, it is a state of mind.something that is so personal that it cant be expressed in words.it can merely be inferrred from the way a person behaves.

i beieve that everything effects us to the degree that we let it to.we cant feel happy if dont let ourselves to.how we feel it is something that is very very personal.its something that is very universal yet very unique to an individual.no one can understand the joy i get while eating oranges or seeing sachin score a century or when i am in company of the people i want to be.i can tell everyone that i am very happy about all these things but what exactly is the feeling cant be conceived by them.perhaps because i cant relly express it in the true sense.

i asked a friend that how does she knows shes happy.she said that when she wishes that in that moment nothing should change...then she realises that she is truly happy.
for me to determine it, the test is how early i doze off after hitting the bed and how soundly i have slept.it tells me that all is going smooth and i have nothing to think about.when i have a thoughtless brain i know that i am doing well.if i worry or am excited before sleeping then i know i am not happy.we tend to believe that excitement is being happy.i feel that when we are excited then a part of us is really scared that things might go wrong and we are not at peace.

the general idea of happiness as we think it is and the one we run after without any sort of contentment has been very well put in the novel SHANTARAM by the author gregory roberts through the character of karla when she says," happiness is a myth. it was invented to make us buy things".,...thereby equating the sense of being happy with materialism and with the psuedo joy that we tend to feel after owning things. psuedo? why? well like tyler durden form "fight club" says, " the thing we own, end up owning us!!"

perhaps its not owning the car that makes us happy....its the thrill of the ride in it!